Sometimes I hit the publish button too soon.
Carrying the thoughts around with me for a while often causes me to rethink how I have worded those thoughts - I come up with wording that is more in line with what I actually meant. Or, also, I will realize that I forgot to link things, or forgot to do the SEO.
Then, I wonder if it really matters..... I am just here to put thoughts out there, I'm not "pushing" any particular idea. But at the same time I want what I say to reflect what I am thinking and feeling in the moment.
It's much easier to just make some glib comments that will catch attention. It's much easier to go with the 'popular' trends of the time and use other people's thoughts. It is not easy to be totally and honestly me because sometimes, about some things, I haven't actually worked that out yet. And frequently what I think right now will be changed when an incident occurs that doesn't fit in with my reasoning.
Living life can be confusing.
Moving forward can be likened to drunkenly bouncing off opposing walls as you make your way down a hall heading in the general direction that you think you want to go only to find that you have not ended up where you intended. Maybe you took too many steps. Maybe you didn't take enough. You have no interest in going back to start again.
It can be disorienting.
Waking up the next day you have no choice but to begin from exactly where you are. You must make your choices based on what you have to work with in the moment.
On here, I can actually come back and change things..... in life, I cannot. I can move forward differently, but I cannot change what I have already done or said. There is no edit button. It is fait accompli. I must move forward from there.
I am, though, beginning to move through life more slowly - with more focus and intent. Less rushing from one thing to another just to be able to tick them all off the list at the end of the day. There is a habit I would like to get in to.....spending more time watching the waves lapping against the shore (even if only metaphorically) to see what else they may wash up, before I make my choices.
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